Why it's OK to not like everyone

I have a theory as to why some people don't like me and why I don't like some people and why that's ok.

I call it the Mushroom Principle.

It's nothing personal. I just don't like mushrooms. But when I say, “I don't like mushrooms,” what I'm really saying is that mushrooms don't taste good to my tongue, nor do they smell good to my nose, nor look good to my eyes. I don't like anything about mushrooms in general. This doesn't make mushrooms a bad food, it just means that their essence (energy)  is not compatible with mine.

The same is true for me. I am someone's – or many people's – mushroom. For one reason or another, they don't like me and that's OK. We just aren't compatible. Our energies don't mix. This is true for me as well; there are some folks that no matter under which conditions I experience them, I just do not enjoy them. They are my mushroom. And that's OK, too.  

Then there are tomatoes. I don't like raw tomatoes by themselves but I do like raw tomatoes if they're in salsa. I also like tomatoes when they're cooked, sun-dried, or pureed into a sauce. Again, there are some people who don't enjoy me one-on-one but get me into a group with others and I'm tolerable – at best I'm enjoyable and at worst I'm hardly even noticed. Of course, the same is true for me, too. I have a couple of people who I call friends who we are no good together one-on-one; it's dead air when we're alone together but mix in a couple of other mutual friends and all is well. No big deal. I know this about us and I think my friend knows this about us so we can plan accordingly. It's nothing personal we're just each other's tomato.

Not liking something does not make it evil. 

So, if someone says, “I don't like mushrooms,” we shouldn't try to convince them that they will like them if only have a Portobello or if they have them stuffed or diced into tiny bits on a pizza. Chances are they've tried them a couple ways and have been sufficiently turned off that the thought of them is nauseating. If they're OK with not ever eating another mushroom for as long as they live then we should be happy for them for figuring that out.

It's OK to not like everyone, in fact I think it's pretty normal to not like everyone but somehow not liking everyone has become stigmatized and I'm not sure how that came to be. Faking liking everyone is worse, in my opinion, because then we lose our authenticity. 

*Disclaimer. I do not harbor any ill will toward mushrooms. I do not go around destroying all the mushrooms I see. Even when I'm hiking I step gingerly around them. I know that they do not exist solely to sour my pallet and so, we have a mutual respect. I don't bother them and in turn, they don't bother me. Same is true for the human mushrooms in my life. Just because I don't like someone doesn't mean that I treat them poorly. Respect is still essential because the human mushroom didn't ask to be my mushroom, if that makes sense. Remember, our innate essences (energies) just aren't compatible. It's not personal, it's no one's fault. It's just natural. 

The challenge: make a list of people in your life who you don't enjoy and figure out which food they equate to for you. Then absolve them of any wrongdoing because whatever it is they've done or haven't done, it wasn't personal. The next time you encounter them, just step gingerly around them and know that they're not being your mushroom or Lima bean or whatever on purpose and, remember that you're someone's Brussels sprout, too. 

Why We Are Fickle

I took a long walk with a friend over the weekend and during the 11-mile trek she asked me what I thought was the cause of our species' fickleness. For example, why one political candidate is nominated and hailed as great one year but eight years later is old news? Why do fads/trends come in and go out of style? Why are eggs good for us one year and bad the next, and then good for us again? Why are we so fickle?

Imagine a speed boat out on a huge lake. It's being piloted by someone who has the courage/gumption to follow a desire. It looks like fun so you grab the line and now you're skiing behind the boat. And it is fun. All you have to do is hold on while the pilot decides how fast to go, where to go, when to turn, when to stop.

This is why I think we're fickle. Because it is easy to let confident people make decisions for us rather than doing the work that allows us to confidently pilot our own boats. It's easier for the Political Party HQ to tell us who to vote for rather than doing the research ourselves and listening with an open mind. It's easier do what we can to fit in with what TVmedianewsFacebookTwittermagazines tell us we should be doingwearingthinkingeating than it is for us to be quiet with ourselves and to actually hear what our bodies need us to eat, what our hearts believe, and what our minds think. It's just too hard. It's too much work. It takes too long.

And so we strap on our skis and go along for the ride.

But what happens when we want to get off? What happens when we tire of skiing?

We do a couple of things:

1. We make the conscious decision to not play anymore, let go, and fall into the water.
2. We become discontented enough and maybe we grow some confidence and being to pull ourselves toward the boat until we are able to board the craft and take over as pilot.
3. We wait for another boat to come along and convince us it's better, throw us a rope, at which point we let go of the other one.
4. We hold on stubbornly becoming more and more tired and grumpy each day.

I think it's safe to say that most of us are guilty of No. 3 more than we are of the others. This is why I think we eat eggs one year and ditch them the next in favor of quinoa only to add them back in the following year while ditching coffee. We're just jumping from boat to boat because someone comes along and says, “hey, your boat is sooo passe. Why not ski with my bright new shiny boat? See all these other cool people who are skiing with me? Don't you want to be like them?”

This is starting to sound like an after-school special but I think there's truth in it.

So what's the answer?

Of course, I believe meditation is the answer.

Aka. The process of removing ourselves from the bombardment of mental, spiritual, and physical pollutants, that we subject ourselves to everyday in order to focus on the breath and to start the dirty work of cleaning out the energetic clutter that we've accumulated. We have to figure out what our anchor is, what is true for us. And when we find our anchor, those boats will still go zooming by us and we'll bob along in their wake, maybe even drift their way a bit, but we will not take the line. We'll stay anchored to our truths and not get swept away in someone else's current.

But don't take my word for it. Try it out for yourself and find out what's true for you.

Med-aphor: Yo-Yo Meditator

Meditation + Metaphor = Medaphor

Yo-Yos have a special meaning for my family and I. Let's just say I used to think I collected things, yo-yos being one of them...

It's only fitting that one of the medaphors that came to me has to do with yo-yos. 

A yo-yo represents the back and forth we go through during meditation. We yo-yo back and forth between mind and breath, mind and breath, mind and breath. Mind is when the yo-yo is closest to our hand (we get 'caught up' in our thinking) and breath is when the yo-yo is furthest away from the hand when its center is clear of almost all the string. 

At first, the yo-yoing is quick, the return from the breath to the mind is almost immediate and then eventually, we get caught up and the yo-yo stays in our hand. Till we realize it. Only then do we send it back down. The goal is to reverse this process: to live in the breath and to only bring our awareness back up to the mind when we intentionally call it.  

Haola Health & Wellness: Baby Steps

My SCORE mentor, who has been extremely helpful so far, gave me a bunch of homework to do which is GREAT because I had no clue where to start so, the tasks were welcome.

First assignment was to create a flyer for my business idea and then to share it out and get feedback. Here it is. Feedback away...

I am also in the process of finding a space where I can offer these classes. In addition to offering regularly scheduled classes at a set location, I really want to be able to go to people who can't come to me (i.e. home-bound, nursing homes, etc.) and also I want to be able to go into schools and workplaces. I think outreach health and wellness services are where it's at - or where it will soon be - plus, I think people are more likely to create regular at-home practice if they learn how to practice at home. Does that make sense? 

Possible spaces that I'm looking into include:

• The YMCA
• Hagerstown Community College
• The library (of course, but there may be some conflict of interest bits I'll need to navigate)
• Churches
• Fitness centers/Yoga studios
• Spas? 
• Doctors' offices/counselors' offices, etc. 

The other piece of research I had to do was into pricing models but you tell me, please, those of you who are reading this: which pricing model would you be more likely to commit to:

• The course model: you sign up for a 6-week course (i.e. Introduction to Qigong pt. 1) for which you pay a flat fee of $125. Six classes total. You can then choose to sign up for another 6-week course (i.e. Introduction to Qigong pt. 2), for which you pay the same fee. Etc. 
• The tuition model: you sign up for a one-year contract during which time you can take up to 3 classes per week at set days and times. You pay monthly $150. 
• The pay-per-class model: you show up at the advertised days and times and pay on the spot $10. No long term commitment. 

Are there other pricing models I'm missing? 

Other things I'm thinking about that maybe you can help with:

• Is it too soon to sign up for a PO Box for my business?
• Should I form an LLC first before all else? How do I do that?
• Should I go ahead and get a mock website up since I have the domain?
• Is there an order of operations that most start-ups follow because I feel like I'm kinda hen-pecking? 

Insights and guidance are welcome...