Med-aphor: Yo-Yo Meditator

Meditation + Metaphor = Medaphor

Yo-Yos have a special meaning for my family and I. Let's just say I used to think I collected things, yo-yos being one of them...

It's only fitting that one of the medaphors that came to me has to do with yo-yos. 

A yo-yo represents the back and forth we go through during meditation. We yo-yo back and forth between mind and breath, mind and breath, mind and breath. Mind is when the yo-yo is closest to our hand (we get 'caught up' in our thinking) and breath is when the yo-yo is furthest away from the hand when its center is clear of almost all the string. 

At first, the yo-yoing is quick, the return from the breath to the mind is almost immediate and then eventually, we get caught up and the yo-yo stays in our hand. Till we realize it. Only then do we send it back down. The goal is to reverse this process: to live in the breath and to only bring our awareness back up to the mind when we intentionally call it.  

Haola Health & Wellness: Baby Steps

My SCORE mentor, who has been extremely helpful so far, gave me a bunch of homework to do which is GREAT because I had no clue where to start so, the tasks were welcome.

First assignment was to create a flyer for my business idea and then to share it out and get feedback. Here it is. Feedback away...

I am also in the process of finding a space where I can offer these classes. In addition to offering regularly scheduled classes at a set location, I really want to be able to go to people who can't come to me (i.e. home-bound, nursing homes, etc.) and also I want to be able to go into schools and workplaces. I think outreach health and wellness services are where it's at - or where it will soon be - plus, I think people are more likely to create regular at-home practice if they learn how to practice at home. Does that make sense? 

Possible spaces that I'm looking into include:

• The YMCA
• Hagerstown Community College
• The library (of course, but there may be some conflict of interest bits I'll need to navigate)
• Churches
• Fitness centers/Yoga studios
• Spas? 
• Doctors' offices/counselors' offices, etc. 

The other piece of research I had to do was into pricing models but you tell me, please, those of you who are reading this: which pricing model would you be more likely to commit to:

• The course model: you sign up for a 6-week course (i.e. Introduction to Qigong pt. 1) for which you pay a flat fee of $125. Six classes total. You can then choose to sign up for another 6-week course (i.e. Introduction to Qigong pt. 2), for which you pay the same fee. Etc. 
• The tuition model: you sign up for a one-year contract during which time you can take up to 3 classes per week at set days and times. You pay monthly $150. 
• The pay-per-class model: you show up at the advertised days and times and pay on the spot $10. No long term commitment. 

Are there other pricing models I'm missing? 

Other things I'm thinking about that maybe you can help with:

• Is it too soon to sign up for a PO Box for my business?
• Should I form an LLC first before all else? How do I do that?
• Should I go ahead and get a mock website up since I have the domain?
• Is there an order of operations that most start-ups follow because I feel like I'm kinda hen-pecking? 

Insights and guidance are welcome...

The Next Step

Haola (pronounced: how-la), means in Chinese: all is well, so be it. It is used as a chant in some qigong practices. Now, haolahealth.com is the URL of my dream business which will help me take my Why to the next step: the How. There currently is no website attached to this address but metaphorically speaking, I've bought the land and now I just have to build the house. 

First, some background. 

I've been thinking a lot about combining my personal meditation and qigong practice with my professional staff development experience into a small business that can help empower others to discover and cultivate their strengths and passions. 

But starting my own business is intimidating because I can't visualize the steps; I can see the beginning and the end but I have no clue what the middle looks like. Kinda makes me think of Bridges' work on transitions. 

So, here's what I've done so far to machete my way through the unknown:

• I talked with five friends who own their own businesses. Two who've been running their businesses for two decades or more, one who's been running her business for about seven years, and two who've been running their businesses for one year or less.
• In a long moment of insecurity, I considered getting an additional master's degree in health and wellness coaching. But in the process of reading about the industry, meeting and talking with an admissions counselor, talking with Grand Master, plus taking stock of my skills and expertise, I've decided against it. 
• My insecurity hasn't disappeared so, with Grand Master's help, I sat down and made a list of all the qigong techniques I know that I feel comfortable teaching to others and it filled more than one page. Confidence level increased a bit. 
• I drafted a 'curriculum' by arranging the qigong techniques I know from basics to intermediate to advanced. 
• I put in a request to SCORE for a small business mentor. Yesterday, I got a phone call from SCORE needing more info from me so they can match me with the right person. I should hear from someone by next Friday!
• Most recently, I decided on a name for my dream business - actually, I had decided on the name a long while ago: Haola Health & Wellness Studio - and bought the domain for it: haolahealth.com. The domain-buying bit happened today.

What's next? Well, meeting with the SCORE mentor is high priority and I'll also be working on a website and making a list of potential partners - people and events that would welcome my meditation and qigong chops. My immediate goal is to start in January teaching/coaching in the evenings and weekends so I can get a feel for my teaching/coaching style and to feel out my curriculum. These sessions could be a whole small group of 3-5 or they could be individual sessions. Since we're working with energy, the ideal is a combination of both: group and individual.

A more immediate goal would be to find a location for these sessions to occur so, I welcome any suggestions on that end. A couple friends recommended the library but since I am an employee I would have to talk with Admin to see about any potential conflicts of interest. Of course, I suppose I could always work with a library in a different county... Churches were also recommended. 

So much to think about but I'm getting excited to be making visible progress toward my goal. This is actually going to happen! I'm not sure what shape it'll take but it'll happen one way or the other! Wish me luck!

Why I am: at Thirty-Two

A poem to myself for my birthday in no particular style...

I am thirty-two because my parents loved me into being.

I am thirty-two because I love being.

I am thirty-two because.

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And that's really all that matters, isn't it? That someone loved the idea of our potential to bring us into being. That we then loved our own potential to keep being. And that the universe is our potential - in fact, it's all of our collective potentials. What a wonderful feeling. By the way, that 'loved me into being' bit is taken from Fred Rogers' academy award acceptance speech and it has stuck with me ever since. 

When I originally sat down to write this post I thought I was going to tell you about this soul-quenching, emotional a-ha moment I had this morning and how it came about and what it means to me, etc. I wrote half a page of text but didn't feel anything. It's true that I had such a moment at 5:30 this morning but writing about it didn't evoke any kind of emotion at all other than boredom. I either haven't found the right words to capture the experience or it's not meant to be shared...yet. So, I deleted it and started over. 

I re-read what I had titled this post and immediately a poem came to mind and I got a little choked up. It felt right. So it didn't get deleted. 

It makes me wonder: how often do we do or say things that aren't true to our real selves? How often do we say things just to say things without really saying anything? Why do we do that? Why is it so easy to do that and why is it so difficult to be 100% authentic? This is why I suspect my story about my a-ha moment didn't come to fruition: I hadn't found the golden nugget of truth that is worthy of sharing yet. I'm not yet ready to share that much of myself and so I opt for saying nothing at all.

Why. Draft #2

To empower others so that they discover & cultivate their strengths & passions.

Yesterday's partner exercise was an experience unlike anything I've ever, well, experienced. And it was one of the most valuable self-reflective exercises I've ever done because I don't think I've ever worked with an objective partner who repeats my stories back to me, asks thoughtful clarifying questions, all for the benefit of identifying patterns both in speech and body language which, through a few minutes of discussion leads to new insights! I imagine this is what a good therapist is like! 

To recap the assignment, Part two of the Learn Your Why course required me to tell six stories, which were identified in Part one, to a more-or-less unbiased partner who was neither family nor close friend but who was an effective listener and with whom was someone I felt comfortable enough to share these stories. 

One by one I told my stories to James (friend/colleague/acquaintance) and after each story James asked really thoughtful clarifying questions which helped me identify what specifically in each situation lead me to feel the emotions I recalled. This proved to be the golden ticket - as we found out in subsequent tasks. By the way, when Simon Sinek says it'll take 10-15 minutes per story, believe him. 

After telling my first story, I hit my stride where I could talk freely, only consulting my notes to make sure I touched on all the emotions I initially recorded in Part one. I had to catch myself a couple of times when I would go off on happy tangents (spoiler alert: one of my stories was about my trips to Maine with my eldest sister, Christen, and my Uncle Willie) that had nothing to do with the specific event I was supposed to be talking about. All in all, telling all six stories, including discussion after each one, lasted approximately 90 minutes. 

Then James and I, thanks to his ample and detailed notes, worked together to identify themes across all my stories: topics and phrases that kept repeating. This was very telling - not surprising - but very telling. This exercise helped validate what James was hearing because as he called out the themes, to most of them I confessed, "Oh yeah..." (as in "yup, that's 100% true." Cue Yello's Oh Yeah). 

The subsequent tasks required us to combine themes that may be related so we had at least 4 but no more than 6 themes to choose from, themes that I viscerally (to use Simon's word) agreed with. We ended up with four themes, two of which I felt were super strong, they really captured my essence. Next, as Simon talks about in his book, we had to separate out the Whys and the Hows. "Simon Sinek, you magnificent bastard," James reveled as the onscreen Sinek described this process. By then, however, I felt sure I knew which one was my why. I had no doubt and James agreed. Even though there were two strong why-possible themes, one encompassed the other so there was no question. 

We didn't have to do too much word-smithing, except for changing out one or two words we were on target and I felt elated. It felt right to say that I get up every morning to empower everyone so that they discover and cultivate their strengths and passions. 

Whether it's my family, my friends, my colleagues ... this holds true. I look for and identify everyone's strengths and then I mentally match them up with tasks or roles that would best first them depending on the situation. It's even better if I actually get to act on this match-making, but that's not always the case. This isn't something I was aware that I did but I truly do this, and it's almost automatic. The kicker is that I get really annoyed when others don't do this. For example, when people who don't have design experience tell my web designer friend how to design a web page. I think to myself, "We hired her because she's a web designer! Let her design the web page! She knows what she's doing so let's trust her!" Sometimes I voice this frustration and sometimes I don't. It all depends on the situation.

The reverse is also true in that I want to be empowered so that I discover and cultivate my strengths and passions. I don't know if that's a good check and balance for a Why. Maybe I'll learn about that in Part 3 but for now, Sinek says to sit with the Why and let it sink in for a few days before continuing with the course. 

For those reading who know me personally, I'll be interested to hear what you think. Does this ring true for your perception of me? Examples and explanations would be very beneficial!

Why I Haven't Written

Not my image. Borrowed from quotes.lifehack.org 

I don't want to be good at making excuses so, how about I explain rationalize why I haven't written in over a week?

For about three weeks or more I've been at an impasse with the Learn Your Why course. I finished part one but I needed a partner to complete part two. It's wasn't easy to find someone a) to whom I wasn't a close friend or family member, b) with whom I felt comfortable sharing some fairly emotionally-charged stories, and c) who I could count on to give me honest tough-love feedback, hold the sugar. 

I believe the universe helps guide me to the right people at the right time for the right purpose and so, when Annie and I couldn't find a date/time between our schedules I took the hint and accepted that maybe I needed someone different. "Am I being fired?" she asked. Yes. But not on merit - it just wasn't a good fit for our schedules and it's healthy to admit that rather than force the issue. Conversely, James responded right away and was available within just a couple days. Thank you, universe. 

By 5pm today, part two will be complete and I am so excited! I don't really know what to expect from this particular exercise but I hope it'll provide some insight and some guidance that I can use to work through my next steps. Of course, it'll give me more to write about so no more making excuses for me!

Why I'm Moving

Since 2000, when I moved from Maryland to Vermont to go to college, I have moved 10 times. 

And I'm about to move again. 

The decision came about during the first part of the Learn Your Why course - which I'm still taking, by the way -  and so, I reconciled my reasons for wanting to move with the draft of my Why, which I wrote about in a earlier post, to see if it passed the celery test. 

For context, let me tell you about the move and how the topic even came about. 

When I returned from my Maine vacation in the middle of August, I flipped through the junk mail to find a letter from the property management agency who runs the apartment complex where I currently live. The letter informed me that I had fourteen days from the date at the top of the paper to complete an early renewal form which would let me renew at these *special* early renewal rates, the 12-month rate being $50 more than my current rate. Of course, since I didn't get this letter as soon as it was mailed, I did not have the full fourteen days to make the decision so, I started thinking about moving and quickly let the 14-day window lapse. 

I thought about what it would take to get me to move again and with my boyfriend's help the reasons were:

1. Substantially more affordable than my current place. I'd have to save at least $100 per month in order to make the move financially smart. 
2. Within walking distance to work. 

But on top of those two qualifications was my Why. 

~ Every moment, every person, every experience is a learning moment. To not take a risk is to risk not learning something new, to not gain valuable insight that is as of yet undiscovered. ~ 

Moving brings several new moments and potentially several new people. Some folks would say living within walking distance to the library, living downtown, is a risk. 

So, I'm moving. Ryan, my Realtor-at-heart boyfriend, found me the perfect apartment only an eight-minutes' walk from work and which is substantially more affordable than my current place - plus, it has a bit more space! Lots of character (built in shelves and bookcases, turquoise bathroom fixtures, and a small bay window) and a large rooftop terrace (I laugh 'cause it's really just the flat roof that I have access to and very much plan to use). It's charming and unique and it fits my why. 

But the deepest, most meaningful reason why I'm moving (which makes me suspect my Why is something more than what I've written above) is because I believe in the downtown revitalization efforts that the city has been working on and that I've been hearing about for the past few years, and I want them to succeed. I agree that renovating the buildings and bringing in new businesses is key but what I believe is an even greater key is to have people living downtown who can support those restaurants, retail shops, museums, theaters, etc. after the 9-to-5 crowd clocks out for the day. As of November 1, I'll be able to say: I work downtown. I live downtown. I experience downtown. I learn downtown.