Why I Think I Do What I Do

So, I've been reading more in, Start with Why, and simultaneously thinking about my personal why and one of my most recent thoughts was, 'We need to get this author to lead our (my library's strategic planning process!' but that is about work and not about me so... I keep thinking from time to time about my thoughts and beliefs and my core values. Why are they so hard to articulate? Companies have core values so, why can't I? Answer: Because it means standing for something and that means having convictions and in my previous experiences most people I know with strong convictions tend to be inflexible and I don't want to be inflexible. But as Adam commented on a previous post, maybe the core of my why can be flexibility. 

My spiritual beliefs and values seem easy to articulate, I think. I mean, I'm heavily influenced by Buddhism and because of that I try not to get attached to thoughts, beliefs, and values; or at least, I try to be aware of when I'm becoming attached. I believe that we have more than one chance at life; we keep coming back until we 'graduate.' I believe that what we call Earth is just a huge learning environment, a practice field. We are all here to learn and to practice applying what we learn and, in turn, to teach others what we've learned, all for the sake of growing into our true selves. We all have different learning and teaching styles. We all don't know what our learning objectives are or what the prescribed pedagogy is. I believe every moment is a learning moment and also a chance to practice what we've learned. When we die, I believe it is our summer vacation: we are removed from the structure of the primary learning environment and given time to reflect on what we've accomplished in this most recent lifetime: what we did really well and how we can help others in those areas and also, what we need to improve on and coming up with a plan on how to improve. Then, we're sent back to school to try again, to learn again, to practice again (which is why we don't come back as the same person because if we did that, then it would mean we hadn't grown at all, that we had failed to learn anything during the previous life). So it goes until we return to pure being at which point we move into advisory roles. 

As advisors, we no longer attend Earth school but instead our work is done during the 'summers' working with Earth students to review their lives and to help them strategize for the next time. We become what I envision staff development coordinators could be if given the chance: learning experience specialists. We look at the big picture and help you figure out what it is you need to learn, what you need to accomplish and then we map out a plan of action: which people you're going to learn from, which experiences you're going to have, when those people and experiences are going to be introduced to you and for how long, etc. We would also look at how you can facilitate others' learning: what role will you play in the learning experiences of others. The outcomes, however, are up to you, we just help you set the stage, review the outcomes, and keep you motivated. 

And that's why I do what I do. 

Because every moment, every person, every experience is a learning moment. To not take a risk is to risk not learning something new, to not gain valuable insight that is as of yet undiscovered. Everyone on this Earth is in practice mode. None of us have gotten it right or we wouldn't be here. My thinking is that we shouldn't behave as though we're Pros because we're not, and we should practice forgiveness and empathy a whole lot because we're all at the same school, going through the same trials, celebrating the same successes and it would be a lot more enjoyable and rich if we supported and celebrated together as a whole. But perhaps that's the greatest learning experience of all?

Why Takes Time

Finding my why is proving to be very time consuming. Which is ridiculous because I've only spent three hours on the course so far. What did I expect? To discover my why in the introduction to the course? Simon Sinek is good but he's not that good. It's not his fault, anyway. It's me who is being totally unrealistic and impatient. 

This was the easy part. Little did I know how much work it would cause.

I'm at the point in the course where I have to recall the work events that I deemed 5s (positive and negative) and identify the spectrum of feelings I went through as the events unfolded. This exercise is called, "Work Stories." Not only do I have to identify the feelings I felt but I also have to describe what initiated the feelings, what happened to cause me to feel delighted or uninspired or creative. It's supposed to take 10 minutes per each level 5 event. Had I known this earlier I would have contained myself a bit with the previous exercise when I was simply identifying the events but noooo, I went and pinned 8 level five events onto my digital work life cork board (5 positive and 3 negative). Now I'm committed to spending at least 80 minutes labeling and describing these events. Serves me right for being so ambitious. I just had to find 3 times in my current work life when I was absolutely miserable simply because it was a huge challenge to find those 3 times in the first place. Had I been able to draw upon previous jobs (Sinek said I had to focus on my current job and employer only), then it would have been easier. But, I followed the instructions. Who knew that working for a great organization and having a great job could cause such frustrations.

We Have Only One Why

I'm about two-hours into Simon Sinek's online course, Learn Your Why, and right off the bat there was a quote that I thought was worth sharing. Sinek says, and I'm paraphrasing, "You only have one why. Having more than one why is like having more than one captain on a ship. Which one do you listen to?"

This doesn't make me feel good. I don't like this notion of only having one why because committing to one why means saying no to all those other whys that are out there. That's the hard part. All the whys are great, surely! Right? But the course is telling me that I need to discover my one and only, and that I'll be better off for it. It's kind of irrational to have an aversion against saying no to a concept, isn't it? It's not like all those other whys are going to have hurt feelings. Already I'm learning. 

But then I start to wonder, is choosing one of something a problem for me in other aspects of my life and if so, how come? If not, why is the thought of choosing one why so daunting? Anyone else out there 'yes junkies?' 

Start With Why

I first saw Simon Sinek speak at the Public Library Association's conference this past March and I was instantly captivated and energized by his stories. I just kept thinking, "Yes! Yes!" At the time, he was talking about his newest title, Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action and I brought some of that energy back and shared it with my colleagues and I've even incorporated the Start With Why mantra into my work. But where I really need it is in my personal life. 

A few days ago I started reading Start With Why and within the first couple of pages I was nodding my head and thinking, "Yes! Yes!" Then it got me thinking about all I do with my life and all I want to do with my life and so, I started thinking about why. It's a really hard concept for me to think about because I don't know the answer to most of my whys and it feels scary. 

So, what do I do? I start a blog to figure out my whys. 

Why am I starting my third, possibly fourth, blog when I know I have a habit of starting blogs, keeping them going for maybe a month if I'm lucky, and then abandoning them? Because I need to intentionally examine myself and to open myself up to feedback from the world at large. I feel I'm ready and on the cusp of making some life-changing moves (those will be discussed later when it feels safe) but I want to start with why before making those moves. 

My next step is to take Simon's Learn Your Why online course which I hope will teach me how to think about my whys because I really have no idea with most things other than to say, "because they're fun." 

Anyone else out there wondering about their why and/or taking this course or reading this book? I'd love to hear your thoughts.