I
have a theory as to why some people don't like me and why I don't like some
people and why that's ok.
I
call it the Mushroom Principle.
It's
nothing personal. I just don't like mushrooms. But when I say, “I don't like
mushrooms,” what I'm really saying is that mushrooms don't taste good to my
tongue, nor do they smell good to my nose, nor look good to my eyes. I don't
like anything about mushrooms in general. This doesn't make mushrooms a bad
food, it just means that their essence (energy)
is not compatible with mine.
The
same is true for me. I am someone's – or many people's – mushroom. For one
reason or another, they don't like me and that's OK. We just aren't compatible.
Our energies don't mix. This is true for me as well; there are some folks that
no matter under which conditions I experience them, I just do not enjoy them.
They are my mushroom. And that's OK, too.
Then
there are tomatoes. I don't like raw tomatoes by themselves but I do like raw
tomatoes if they're in salsa. I also like tomatoes when they're cooked,
sun-dried, or pureed into a sauce. Again, there are some people who don't enjoy
me one-on-one but get me into a group with others and I'm tolerable – at best
I'm enjoyable and at worst I'm hardly even noticed. Of course, the same is true
for me, too. I have a couple of people who I call friends who we are no good
together one-on-one; it's dead air when we're alone together but mix in a
couple of other mutual friends and all is well. No big deal. I know this about
us and I think my friend knows this about us so we can plan accordingly. It's
nothing personal we're just each other's tomato.
Not liking something does not make it evil. |
So,
if someone says, “I don't like mushrooms,” we shouldn't try to convince them
that they will like them if only have a Portobello or if they have them stuffed
or diced into tiny bits on a pizza. Chances are they've tried them a couple
ways and have been sufficiently turned off that the thought of them is
nauseating. If they're OK with not ever eating another mushroom for as long as
they live then we should be happy for them for figuring that out.
It's
OK to not like everyone, in fact I think it's pretty normal to not like
everyone but somehow not liking everyone has become stigmatized and I'm not
sure how that came to be. Faking liking everyone is worse, in my opinion,
because then we lose our authenticity.
*Disclaimer.
I do not harbor any ill will toward mushrooms. I do not go around destroying
all the mushrooms I see. Even when I'm hiking I step gingerly around them. I
know that they do not exist solely to sour my pallet and so, we have a mutual
respect. I don't bother them and in turn, they don't bother me. Same is true
for the human mushrooms in my life. Just because I don't like someone doesn't
mean that I treat them poorly. Respect is still essential because the human
mushroom didn't ask to be my mushroom, if that makes sense. Remember, our
innate essences (energies) just aren't compatible. It's not personal, it's no
one's fault. It's just natural.
The challenge: make a list of people in your life who you don't enjoy and figure out which food they equate to for you. Then absolve them of any wrongdoing because whatever it is they've done or haven't done, it wasn't personal. The next time you encounter them, just step gingerly around them and know that they're not being your mushroom or Lima bean or whatever on purpose and, remember that you're someone's Brussels sprout, too.